1- I got to snuggle my little guy this morning.
2- Chase has been spending a lot of solid one on one time with Camden, which I love. They have such a good relationship.
3- I got to work with my favorite nurse last night, makes a twelve hour shift so much better!
If you've been reading along with these blog posts, you might recall me mentioning that while I'm trying to stay positive through all this, I still have my down days. Well as of late, that's all I've been experiencing.
A couple of weeks ago we were down in Nevada visiting my family. My brother and sister in law have the cutest boys, Rhett and Luke. Camden absolutely adores both of these little guys. He loves to play with Rhett, the two of them could spend hours outside riding their bikes. And Camden is completely infatuated with Luke. He loves to find a toy to share with him, and he is always so concerned whenever Luke cries. It kind of broke my heart a little bit, watching Camden with Luke. He tries to be so sweet and gentle with his younger cousin. He has always loved giving him kisses. It made me think how excited Camden would have been to have a little baby around all the time. He would be the best big brother. But sadly, he won't get the chance to fill that role yet.
Camden isn't the only one who loves spending time with Luke. Chase couldn't get enough of that little guy. He would jump at the chance to hold him and love on him. I could always see a little bit of sadness in his eyes whenever he was snuggling Luke. Chase had been wanting so badly to add to our little family, before we got pregnant he was constantly telling me that it was time for another baby. When he found out I was expecting he was so excited! I hate seeing that excitement replaced with sadness.
Have you ever heard someone say to new parents, "oh you did so good!" in regards to their new baby? Not to brag or anything, but we got that quite a bit when we first had Camden. He was so dang cute and was such an easy baby. We really had done so good, we had made a perfect little person. I was thinking about comments like that the other day, and it made me realize that this time, I hadn't done a good job. I didn't make a perfect little person. Somehow, a part of me had messed up. I felt like it was my fault that my daughter had developed all these defects.
My dad had given Chase and I both a fathers blessing after we had learned what was wrong with Bliss. My dad's words rang in my ears after my depressing thoughts. He had specifically said to me that this was not my fault. That this was not happening because of something I had done in the past. He had reassured me that this was all a part of Heavenly Fathers great plan. I'm thankful that my dad was inspired to say those words.
I feel as if Heavenly Father is consistently reminding me in little ways that I am not alone throughout this trial. I have a loving Savior who is eager to help me at any time. One of my favorite pictures of Christ is based off of the story found in Matthew chapter 14.
The story behind the picture is that of Peter and Christ walking on the water. Peter becomes frightened by the waves of the sea and begins to sink. The Savior quickly pulls Peter to the surface, comforts him, and reminds him to have faith. This picture is so easy to apply to each of our own lives. I love the view point that the artist uses, its as if we are the person sinking and Christ is reaching out to save us. Some days I feel like I am sinking in my sorrow. In those moments, I think of this picture and I imagine myself grabbing hold of the Savior's hand and allowing him to pull me to the surface, to emerge from the pain I'm surrounded by.
I'm so blessed to have the knowledge of the gospel. Knowing that my Savior is reaching out, ready to save me from my bad days, it really is such a comfort to me.
2- Chase has been spending a lot of solid one on one time with Camden, which I love. They have such a good relationship.
3- I got to work with my favorite nurse last night, makes a twelve hour shift so much better!
If you've been reading along with these blog posts, you might recall me mentioning that while I'm trying to stay positive through all this, I still have my down days. Well as of late, that's all I've been experiencing.
A couple of weeks ago we were down in Nevada visiting my family. My brother and sister in law have the cutest boys, Rhett and Luke. Camden absolutely adores both of these little guys. He loves to play with Rhett, the two of them could spend hours outside riding their bikes. And Camden is completely infatuated with Luke. He loves to find a toy to share with him, and he is always so concerned whenever Luke cries. It kind of broke my heart a little bit, watching Camden with Luke. He tries to be so sweet and gentle with his younger cousin. He has always loved giving him kisses. It made me think how excited Camden would have been to have a little baby around all the time. He would be the best big brother. But sadly, he won't get the chance to fill that role yet.
Camden isn't the only one who loves spending time with Luke. Chase couldn't get enough of that little guy. He would jump at the chance to hold him and love on him. I could always see a little bit of sadness in his eyes whenever he was snuggling Luke. Chase had been wanting so badly to add to our little family, before we got pregnant he was constantly telling me that it was time for another baby. When he found out I was expecting he was so excited! I hate seeing that excitement replaced with sadness.
Have you ever heard someone say to new parents, "oh you did so good!" in regards to their new baby? Not to brag or anything, but we got that quite a bit when we first had Camden. He was so dang cute and was such an easy baby. We really had done so good, we had made a perfect little person. I was thinking about comments like that the other day, and it made me realize that this time, I hadn't done a good job. I didn't make a perfect little person. Somehow, a part of me had messed up. I felt like it was my fault that my daughter had developed all these defects.
My dad had given Chase and I both a fathers blessing after we had learned what was wrong with Bliss. My dad's words rang in my ears after my depressing thoughts. He had specifically said to me that this was not my fault. That this was not happening because of something I had done in the past. He had reassured me that this was all a part of Heavenly Fathers great plan. I'm thankful that my dad was inspired to say those words.
I feel as if Heavenly Father is consistently reminding me in little ways that I am not alone throughout this trial. I have a loving Savior who is eager to help me at any time. One of my favorite pictures of Christ is based off of the story found in Matthew chapter 14.
The story behind the picture is that of Peter and Christ walking on the water. Peter becomes frightened by the waves of the sea and begins to sink. The Savior quickly pulls Peter to the surface, comforts him, and reminds him to have faith. This picture is so easy to apply to each of our own lives. I love the view point that the artist uses, its as if we are the person sinking and Christ is reaching out to save us. Some days I feel like I am sinking in my sorrow. In those moments, I think of this picture and I imagine myself grabbing hold of the Savior's hand and allowing him to pull me to the surface, to emerge from the pain I'm surrounded by.
I'm so blessed to have the knowledge of the gospel. Knowing that my Savior is reaching out, ready to save me from my bad days, it really is such a comfort to me.
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